"Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good."

"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."

"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."

"Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious."

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."

"To be a humorist, one must see the world out of focus."

"Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions."

"Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself."

"Love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it鈥檚 because it wasn鈥檛 true love."

"You keep changina€? the rules and I cana€?t play the game. I cana€?t take it much longer. I think I might go insane."

"I try to know what I need to know. I make sure to know what I want to know."

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."