"Morality is herd instinct in the individual."

"It is difficult to live with people because it is so difficult to be silent. And not against him who is repugnant to us are we most unfair, but against him who is no concern of ours."

"The habit of intellectual principles without reasons is called faith."

"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

"Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?"

"One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. (Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.)"

"If it is true that words have meanings, why don't we throw away words and keep just the meanings?"

"The absence of love is the most abject pain."

"Behind almost every woman you ever heard of stands a man who let her down."

"There was a young man of Dundoo, Whose limericks stopped at line 2."

"The three most important parts a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money and his religious beliefs."